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Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
Me: Oh ok cool
Kidnapper: Wut
Me: This is a febreze commercial right
Kidnapper: Wut
Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh

(Source: normanbaites, via rosaparking)

slaughteroftheweeaboos:

ppl my age have children what the hell i am a children

(Source: buriaq, via unclefather)

majoras-windwaker:

So I cut it with a flat one instead.

(via cybercum)

(Source: whatthebec, via canadad)